Toys and "Doing Gender"

It is obvious to me that gender is more than our biological make-up. We learn how to be boys and girls from the moment of conception. Hands down, the largest contributors to our gender socialization are the toys and books that are marketed for young children. This really hit home for me this holiday season when buying gifts for my four and a half year old nephew and my boyfriend's five year old sister. I chose this year to buy books for the little ones, not only because I knew that they'd receive oodles of toys but because it was my best solution in finding gender- neutral gifts.

It was amusing for me to watch as my nephew's clearly favorite gift was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' sword set. It has been tough for me to accept that as he grows into a young boy, he has become increasingly interested in guns, swords, and bow and arrows. Ultimately there is nothing wrong with these typical interests; he's a very kind and loving kid and is around lots of peers at school that are sharing the same interests. And you must let kids be themselves.

Yesterday afternoon Joseph's sis could not resist showing me her new purse, filled to the brim with princess make-up. I must remember that I too was a very "girly" girl as a child. I too loved all of these things. I think the most influential combatant to these pure gender socializations was my love of reading. My grandfather is really to thank for this, guiding me towards books that represented women as strong, intelligent role models.

As an aside, I want to comment on an interaction with my nephew last week that I found interesting. We were playing with this awesome rainforest veterinarian playset he has. What I found to be not so awesome were the male and female action figures that accompany the set. The female, decked out in her vet gear, has the largest, perkiest breasts I've seen on a plastic doll in a while. Not to mention the unrealistic, unattainable, tiny waist. The male vet is unrealisticly top heavy as well with a puffed out, muscular chest and arms. He could kick any unruly tiger's ass with those crazy biceps. Curious, I asked my nephew what their names were. He responded that his name was Strong and her name, Girly. If this isn't the effects of learning the acceptable roles of the male/female dichotomy, I don't know what is. He is four and a half. Children are sponges, and by the age of four have already grasped what it means to be a male or female in our society.

There is only so much we can do as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, and uncles. Peers, teachers, television, toys, and video games are also influences. And we must give children the freedom to choose and express themselves. I must also acknowledge that gender is one of the most pervasive classifications in this world as we know it. It's going to take a long time for the accepted roles and behaviors for young girls and boys to shift, if they ever really do. My greatest hope is that these roles expand, giving girls and boys more options on how to be and also allowing for gay, lesbian, and transgendered children to have a place too.

I do want to say that one of the greatest joys for me during the holidays is providing magic and fun for my nephew. He's a fantastic kid with a fantastic set of familial role models. I'm not worried about his development into a strong, intelligent, pro-feminist human being. I am learning a lot about what it means to grow and develop during childhood by watching him. Ultimately it is a lot of fun and provides a jump-off point for many a discussion.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Keep the spirit alive!