Anger Management

One of my dearest friends and co-workers from the coffee shop where we both work/pretty much live, was subjected to some serious benevolent sexism. Or maybe hostile actually? I'm not exactly sure. Yesterday she accidentally dropped a glass french press, full of hot coffee. One can imagine the tragedy of a broken french press in the middle of a morning rush, not to mention the intense pain that results from hot coffee soaking through your jeans and tennis shoes! Any sane individual would cry out in frustration, pain, and anger (insert your expletive of choice here). The next day, one of the most patronizing, good ole'boy, father dearest type regulars came in and asked my pal if she had considered getting help for her anger management problems! She matter-of-factly explained to him the circumstances of her angry outburst the previous day, and he responded with an "Oh, I didn't realize..."
A while later, she was retelling the story to someone we both thought would be sympathetic to the ridiculousness of the previous customer's "fatherly" attempt at advice. I interjected at some point about how pissed off the whole scenario made me as well. His response was, "Now ladies, you need to calm down...don't overreact." But why shouldn't we react? First of all, "Daddy Dearest" has some serious boundary issues. Second of all, I cannot help but uncover the sexist implications of these male reactions.
Now I question, if this had been a male in place of my dear lady-friend, in the same exact situation, would "Daddy Warbucks" have said anything at all?? And would our male friend have told us to quit overreacting? Any woman that does not grin and bear it, especially when she allows herself to express anger and frustration over any given situation, is subjected to harsh judgement from patriarchal figures such as these gentlemen. It seems reminiscent of the Victorian era, where women must be "lady-like" and passive, and any female that does not conform, is condemned by society as insane, irrational, and in need of some serious therapy. In all actuality, the healthiest of us express our anger when we need to!
Do not belittle our anger to insanity or overreaction, and do not reduce us to our anger either. So for those out there that just can't take the heat of a pissed off babe, get the fuck over it!
Keep that angry ass, beautiful spirit alive!

Hate and Prop 8

Today the Supreme Court of California upheld the earlier ruling of Proposition 8, denying the right for same-sex couples to marry. In the very least, the court decided to acknowledge the marriages that did occur during the short time gay marriage was legal. But if the court can uphold these marriages, than what sense does this make to deny this basic right to all people? At least America bears witness to Iowa becoming the third state to legalize same-sex marriage (if you rule out California). This leaves Massachucetts, Connecticut, and Iowa as the only states where anyone can marry. Apparently Vermont and Maine plan to legalize gay marriage in September of this year.

Not that long ago, the United States refused to acknowledge interracial marriages. In 1967 the case of Loving v. Virginia brought down the Racial Integrity Act, the state law banning interracial marriages. It seems that history repeats itself once more with the ban on same-sex marriages. In attempts to stay positive, I believe that Americans will see the legalization of marriage for same-sex couples within the next 10-20 years. And until then, I refuse to marry. This is my own personal protest at the hateful denial of couples in love to affirm their commitment through marriage. Although I have a hard time with the traditional idea of marriage as it is, but that's another blog for another time.
At least we can trust that love and commitment still exist for everyone, regardless of the legal system and religious right's attempts to meddle in our lives.

Hairy Matters

All over the place lately I have begun to notice advertisements for shaving and all of the tools that accompany this daily routine. Advertisements perpetually enforce the necessity for females to remain hairless, including, I believe, a more current obsession with getting rid of pubic hair. I remember being completely embarrassed that all of my friends were shaving their legs in elementary school and begging my grandmother to allow me to join the ranks of hairless prepubescents. My best friend and I even shaved our legs for the first time together. Shaving transformed you from girl to woman, or so we thought. The latest MARTA bus advertisement that I have noticed lately, depicts two freshly shaven, shiny legs pointing in the air next to one of the various million blade razors that is currently hot on the market. Pointed out in the Killing Us Softly series, many advertisements, like the one from the MARTA bus, hone in on specific female body parts, eradicating any real identity from the individual. The usage of code words and symbolism enable the media to avoid words like pubic hair and vagina. When did vagina become such a dirty word? Our favorite witty lady from Informania's Target Women, Sarah Haskins, has also noticed this preoccupation with bush maintenance. Here's the clip from Haskins' latest greatest:



There's also an excellent excerpt from Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues that depicts a woman's attempt to please her unfaithful husband by shaving off her pubic hair. In the end she decides that going bald is far more trouble than it's worth.

To this day I still shave my legs and perform routine maintenance on my "garden." I am as much a product of society as anyone else. But I can't help but scoff at these ads that reinforce the female need to monitor and obsess over her appearance. Not to mention that shaving one's legs proves to be quite an arduous task.

Until next time, hairy or hairless, keep the spirit alive!

A storm is a brewing....

The National Organization for Marriage does not know what to do with themselves as the movement towards equal marriage rights for all continues to make progress. They seem to think it is impinging on their personal freedom to allow gays and lesbians to marry! Their freedom??? When checking my email today, I received a link to a commercial, sponsored by the N.O.M. (i.e. the religious right), called "The Gathering Storm." Apparently California currently broadcasts the commercial up to 8 times a day! What I find most humorous, is their nickname, the Rainbow Coalition. The rainbow has become a positive symbol for GLBTQ members everywhere. Perhaps these bigoted, right wing bastards used the rainbow symbolism on purpose. Regardless, very creative. NOT. Anyway, I personally think these people are absolute parodies of themselves.

And for our more open-minded enjoyment with which to soften the blow, "Prop 8-The Musical":

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Keep the spirit alive! Don't let the backlash against progress fool you!

Do you find this photo funny?

This photo was taken by the New York Times for this article: Pakistan Leader Backs Down and Reinstates Top Judge
At my coffee shop, we have the New York Times sitting by the register for customers to purchase. Hardly ever does anyone ever make any comments about the headlining photo and caption. Well, this photo received more jokes than I would ever have expected. The man on the ground, obviously surrendering to the police officer who is about to beat him, is a protester. I know very little about the Pakistani government and the circumstances that motivated the citizens to protest; however, I do know that there is nothing funny about brutality. I told this to a customer after he questioned why I was not laughing with him (I didn't try to argue with him, he openly pointed out that I was not joining in with his joke). He responded with: "This isn't brutality, it's just a little stick." Well my friend, so's a pistol.
Violence is not something that I will ever find humorous. Just because a police officer is the one wielding the weapon does not make it okay. Like I said, I don't have a full understanding of the circumstances; maybe this individual did something heinous. I am not quick to judge the targeted criminal in any newspaper anymore without some critical thinking. Look at how corrupt the American criminal justice system is! Women and men of color make up the majority of those incarcerated. Women of color are sexually harassed, beaten, raped, and sometimes killed by our police officers more often than we will probably ever be aware of. Racial profiling by our criminal justice system is a current, systemic problem in our country. Look at the Vietnam war protests that went on in the U.S. and the Civil Rights marches of the 1960s and 70s. Were these citizens subjected to hatred and violence? You bet!
So no, I am not going to laugh. I am going to question. I am going to find compassion. Violence begets violence. It will never be a real solution.

Things to celebrate and look forward to!

In celebration of Women's History Month, Emory is sponsoring lots of fun events. Most excitingly, on Tuesday March 24, Angela Davis is giving the keynote address for WHM and discussing the prison industrial complex and its effects on women. She's an amazing lady and has contributed years of activism and education for the feminist movement, especially with issues facing women of color and United States prisons. Basically she's a badass! The event is completely free and open to the public. It's being held at Ebeneezer Baptist Church and starts at 7pm. Here's a link with more information on the event: AngelaDavisKeynoteAddress.


Just food for thought:
I'm currently watching Scrubs, which frequently pisses me off with its heteronormative, sexist banter. In the current episode the ex-chief of surgery told one of the main female doctors that she had grown "girl balls." Why is it that in order to imply that someone is gutsy or exhibiting strength and independence, that someone has grown a set of hypothetical testicles? And if courageous=ballsy, someone exhibiting fear or tentativeness is called a pussy? Can you think of any phrases utilizing the male genitalia in a negative way? It's a lot harder than you may think. There's a plethora of common phrases in the English language that we usually don't think about or question. Just one of the many things I like to ponder.

Prop 8 and the nullification of California same-sex marriages

In December, Ken Star and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund began their attempts at the nullification of the same-sex marriages of over 18,000 Californians. On March 5, the Supreme Court is listening to arguments for/against this cruel, prejudiced act. You can go to this link to watch a beautifully orchestrated slideshow, set to Regina Spektor's Fidelity, of photographs of many of the happy, in love couples and fellow family members and friends, in protest of Prop 8. At the bottom is a link that allows you to sign a letter to the Supreme Court. They have a new goal of 300,000 signatures. Help be a part of the solution! This is only the beginning, but we must start somewhere eh?

Here's the link:
http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/divorce

Even if you think Valentine's Day is a stupid, commercial holiday, this is a great way to show your love this month!