Panties-in-a-Twist

Customer Service Representative

2010-08-21T11:22:00.000-07:00

I am consistently reminded of sexism's presence most often when working behind the counter at the cafe. Not to detract from the many wonderful patrons that I come across daily, but I can't help but note the difference in treatment that I receive in comparison to my male co-workers. The expectations for women in the service industry to wear plastered smiles, laugh at jokes-especially the sexist ones, and to flirt with any male patron that walks through the door are oppressive, saddening, and infuriating. This is especially troubling considering jobs that involve tips, where making money from male patrons often depends on employing one of these gendered expectations.

1.) The Suspicious Stranger
Perhaps the most interesting reaction to my refusal to play the flirtatious card is an immediate distrust of my presence. I wish that I could do this particular phenomenon justice with the written word, but I can summon this all up with a single look-furrowed brow, grimace, and a wide eyed stare. My refusal to perform normative feminine behavior throws men off their tracks. If we meet again, I am usually met with coldness, lack of eye contact, and mumbling.

2.) The Apparel Commentator
And what perfect timing for this one seeing as it just happened as I write this blog. I don't care what a woman wears, she is NOT asking for it. I am wearing shorts today-it's hot and I like the way I look in them. I don't need to know from strangers that they like it too. The "I like your shorts, skirt, sexy pin up girl tattoo" all fall into this category. I understand the true implications of such statements, and I do not see them as compliments. I am being reduced to body parts and nonreciprocating sexual desire. Not to mention the presumption that I am heterosexual and would be attracted to men in the first place or attracted to heterosexist male performance!!

3.) Beautiful, Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Sugar
Perhaps one of the most overlooked but most frequently utilized, the usage of pet names makes me furious. Whether with good intentions or bad, this tactic is undeniably sexist. Rarely if ever directed towards male employees by male patrons (which warrants another discussion on the role of homophobia in the service industry), I am frequently greeted with "Hey beautiful....sugar....darling." I find this one of the easiest for me to resist and here's how. When a male patron announces their presence this way, I simply treat it as if they have mistaken me for someone else, holding out my hand and introducing myself: "Actually, my name is Crystal. Nice to meet you." Unfortunately not every circumstance lends itself to this conversational progression, but I have found this response on my part humanizes me and leads to a better interaction with this customer in the future.

4.) Don't Be So Sensitive...Can't You Take a Joke?
I have one instance in particular that I will never forget because the comment was so explicitly offensive. A year or two ago, Danielle and I were enjoying one of our many Sunday morning shifts together. Two men come in and order a coffee. Simple enough. No big deal. After about 20 minutes or so, one of them approaches the counter and matter-of-factly states, "Since you ladies don't have your aprons on, I suppose I'm going to have to ask for a refill myself." Such a foolish and dated comment that I nearly scoffed out loud. Sensing my disgust, he retorts, "Oh don't be so uptight. It was just a joke." The "oh, you're just an overemotional, too sensitive female" cop out response. Truly one of the oldest tricks in the book! It shuts down any chance for him to take responsibility for his sexism and places the blame onto the female.

5.) Downright Sexual Harassment
This one has kept me emotionally charged for several weeks now, seeing as I faced my first experience with severe sexual harassment by an employee at the business right next to mine. My experience began with an unwanted pick up line or two, but when no obviously did not mean no to him, things began to escalate. Explicit sexual comments about my appearance and unwanted physical contact followed my consistent reiteration of "I am not interested". He stressed that he didn't like rejection and that because I was so beautiful, he just couldn't help himself. I escaped physically unscathed, but the emotional detriment of sexual harassment and borderline assault can leave an indelible scar. It threw me off of my power so significantly that I was not able to react in a way that may have shut down his further advances. This feeling of guilt and searching for ways I could have altered my behavior to have prevented it is the result of improper social messages that places prevention responsibility onto the woman. The only positivity I can glean from this experience lies in having a first hand experience in the oppressive and frightening ways sexual harassment and assault function.
***This just in: he got fired for what happened. Apparently I wasn't the only one harassed by this creep. Not that this gets to the root cause of his behavior, but at least he faced some sort of repercussion, and I don't have to worry about him while working.

These examples of sexist behavior, not limited to the workplace, permeate the many spaces of a woman's life. My professor Dr. Kubala, made an interesting point in class the other day, in the context of street harassment, that many acts of sexism, racism, classism, ect.. serve as punishment for women and other marginalized groups'(relegated to private realms of the home) increased presence in the public realm. I would extend this argument to the workplace, especially the service industry; however, I do not intend to suggest that misogyny does not occur within the home in epidemic proportions. The service industry represents one of the many precarious places for a female, having to constantly negotiate the male gaze and the actions that accompany it.

How have you experienced sexism, racism, classism, ableism in the workplace? My categories do not encompass the many ways one can experience misogyny. As a white woman, my racial privilege limits my full understanding of the ways this may function in a female's life.

Virginity and Value

2010-05-22T06:51:00.000-07:00

So much time has passed since I posted anything here. Blogging is something I always tell myself I am going to cultivate, and yet I always seem to become so caught up in the day to day happenings and responsibilities. I suppose school is a decent excuse, but still!

I am very excited to embark on some new research over the course of the summer and into the new school year. First I plan on delving into the concept of virginity as dictated within several coming of age television series that aired during the mid to late 90s: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, My So Called Life, Felicity, and Dawson's Creek. These series contributed a great deal to the dominant scripts concerning youth and sexuality within my generation. Largely heteronormative and female focused, the plot lines weave tales with many common threads. Virginity becomes reified, positioned as a tangible object, something that one can save and/or give away, i.e. "losing your virginity."

Embarking on some preliminary research, I've picked up Jessica Valenti's The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women So far it has proved to be a quick, informative read. Valenti writes in a way that is very accessible, which I appreciate and provides an analysis of virginity spanning the past 20+ years within the U.S. I especially enjoy her discussion of how the purity myth functions within rape and abortion discourse amongst anti-choice/pro-choice activists, within pop culture, and the resulting policy decisions. The "Woman's Right to Know" or informed consent laws that make it mandatory for doctor's to degrade women who seek an abortion, seeks to remind women of what an abortion means through forced ultrasounds and paternalistic counseling. Apparently within the states of Texas and Mississippi doctors are required by law to tell women that abortion and an increased risk for breast cancer are directly correlated (Valenti, 134). This completely erroneous statement assumes that women do not have the mental capacity to fully understand their decision as well as the ability to decipher the bogus from the truth. This is just one example that Valenti gives in her book of the ways that the purity myth attempts to control women's bodies. I look forward to finishing The Purity Myth in hopes to have a better understanding of how virginity discourse continues to shape our sexual realities.

Everywhere I turn, I hear and view examples of this myth at work. I find the usage of these misconceptions particularly insidious when utilized in television, film, and print media geared towards adolescent girls. At a time when accurate and inclusive information about sex is needed the most,instead, we see it denied to the majority of America's youth. We still receive messages that men have uncontrollable, biological urges for sex, while simultaneously denying sexual agency to women, especially teenage girls. I am looking forward to further examining these messages as I continue with my research.

Please feel free to comment with messages you may have received about sexuality and virginity growing up, as well as examples of these discourses functioning within pop culture and current events. I love feedback peeps!

Beach House-new album to be released on the 26th!

2010-01-10T14:29:00.000-08:00

I deem Beach House as one of my all time favorite bands, not only because I have a thing for lady vocalists, but also because they are truly that awesome. Their albums all maintain this dreamy, lullaby-like feel that I love playing in the mornings when I'm sleepily opening up the cafe. The official release date of Teen Dream is January 26th, although I'm not going to lie to you, I have my hands on a copy. I love it and guarantee it shall find it's way to my best of 2010 list. Check out this video of a live recording of Beach House appropriately playing their first single Used to Be on a beach in Sydney, Australia. There's also an adorable clip of Victoria singing TLC's Waterfalls. <3 <3 <3

Enjoy, yes?!

The Year of Manliness

2010-01-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

Today I found myself lazily browsing the remains of the 2010 calendar selection at Borders Books. 50 percent off; can't pass that up! As I perused the shelves, I found myself drawn to a calendar based on the title alone: The Year of Manliness. I picked it up and analyzed the samples of the illustrations found inside. It's certainly amusing to say the least, but it also struck the feminist chord in me. This is simply one calendar amongst the many, but these extreme displays of what we consider masculine (and feminine) are oftentimes problematic and as a collective are extremely influential to what shape us and pigeonhole us into the roles of man and woman. Here's a few haphazard iphone pics. Sorry about the glare.

I am particularly taken aback by the phrase "Get Punched in the Face Daily," found on the backside of the calendar. Although meant to be funny I'm sure, the linkage of masculinity with muscles and violence bothers me. I know that it's nothing new, but here lies a perfect example of the notion that to be considered a real man means that one must maintain an aggressive persona at all times. We see the same tired theme play out in television, film, and even in the historical tellings of countless wars.

These ideas also serve as a reinforcement of the stereotype of the gay male as overly feminine. The discrimination against gays in the military through "Don't Ask, don't tell" serves as a real life example of these influences at work. To openly admit to a sexual preference that moves beyond the heterosexual standard means to abandon your masculinity and lose any credibility as an effective member of the US military. This has an effect on women in the military as well, where although becoming more acceptable for females to serve, women are not taken as seriously and are also likely to face sexual harassment and oftentimes sexual assault. Lesbians in the military throw another wrench in the traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity. Once again, by openly admitting to a sexual preference other than heterosexuality, lesbians in the military are victim to discrimination on multiple levels. To pass as a woman by traditional standards, one must adopt a passive demeanor and should be attracted to a man sexually. Lesbians frequently find themselves stereotyped as masculine, and on top of that do not engage in sexual relations with men. It's a classic double bind. No matter what she does, as a queer woman, she will find herself unacceptable by the constraints of traditional gender roles.

So here's my point, this comic, over the top portrayal of extreme masculinity speaks volumes of what society believes, be it a small piece in the gigantic puzzle of ideas surrounding gender and sexuality. We internalize these pictures and words and they shape our lives daily. They shape the notion that a woman must remain hairless ("you aren't hairy enough for this tome of manliness"). They shape the identities of young boys who learn that to prove themselves, they must do it with violence. They shape the discriminatory policies towards the GLBTQ community, in the military and beyond. This chance encounter with a random calendar reminds me just how important it is to become aware of and move beyond these old standards.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Keep the spirit alive in 2010!

Cute Emergency Contraception AD

2009-12-30T14:57:00.000-08:00

Saw a link to this posted on Bitch Magazine's blog. In response to the rates of birth control mishaps that skyrocket during the days that follow the ringing in of the New Year, this video serves as a reminder that emergency contraception is always available if you have a hot and heavy night paired with a birth control mishap or two. Not to mention this video is quite adorable!

2009's Best in Feminism

2009-12-19T12:06:00.000-08:00

Today I'm going to try my hand at something I do best, making lists! I became inspired as I watched my best friend and wordsmith extraordinaire Julia, from Fear of Arthropods blogdom, craft her list of the best music of 2009. My creative juices began to flow, and I thought it would be fun to tackle a similar endeavor. I am taking a slightly different approach however, generating my personal list of shout outs to 2009's best in feminist pop culture and beyond. I'm going to try to keep it to a list of ten, but we shall see how it goes!

1.) SARAH HASKINS FROM CURRENT TV'S TARGET WOMEN:
I cannot make a list of the best in feminism without giving a shout out to this queen of witty commentary on what's wrong with modern American pop culture. Each segment surrounds a particular theme, analyzing current television advertisements through the use of witty reparte' on the ways women (and men) are portrayed in the media. Haskins' sarcastic commentary sheds light on how horrific stereotypes are used in order to generate profit in our modern day capitalist system. Now that's a mouthfull! Here's a clip of Haskin's personal best of 2009, summing up the year in the ridiculous to the most horrifying of television commercials:

2.) ST VINCENT:
She's a poet, a songstress, and an extraordinary musician. Annie Clark, the strikingly beautiful leading lady of St. Vincent notoriety really broke the mold with her new album Actor, released in the earlier part of the year. Her songs oscillate between gentle beauty, jarring instrumentation, breakdowns with pop song beats, and allusions to fairytales and chance encounters. With a little bit of searching, I found a high quality video clip of Annie playing the song The Strangers, the first track off of her new album. Bask in the glow of her talent and beauty!!

3.) Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act of 2009:
During President Obama's first week in office, we finally saw the passage of the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act. This ensures that anyone who discovers they have received disparate pay from their employer based on discrimination will have a fair chance in seeking legal action. Previously, it was only possible to investigate and prosecute within six months of the unfair paycheck. The act was named after Lily Ledbetter, a female employee of Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company, who discovered that she did not receive equal pay based on gender discrimination. This case climbed its way to the Supreme Court, ultimately resulting in this addition to the Civil Rights Act of 1964 that is in place today! Oftentimes justice does prevail ya'll!

4.) Bitch Magazine:
I must give props to my favorite feminist publication, online and in print. The magazine strives to give interesting and informative articles critiquing pop culture via a feminist lens. Bitch's content ranges from questioning whether Prince is a feminist, blog posts analyzing the way those with disabilities are portrayed in the popular media, and podcasts that include a segment called "Ask Your Cervix." If I were you, I'd subscribe, check out their website, and/or donate! They are a non profit organization and rely on its fans to keep the publication afloat!!

5.) O.B. Tampons
Of course O.B.'s have been around for quite some time now, but I recently discovered the joys of using them over the run of the mill Tampax variety. For the eco-minded gal, they produce very little waste. O.B.'s are applicator-less, and have a very thin, plastic covering. This means not having to toss a cardboard applicator and huge paper wrapping, several times a day for 5-7 days, once a month! Even the box is small and easily stashable. This is especially convenient when you share a wee, city apartment such as the one Julia and I reside in. As long as you can get over the lack of the applicator, which really isn't that much of a hastle (I promise!), I think switching to O.B.'s could significantly improve the inevitable arrival of your menses.
(click on the link above and you can receive a free sample from their website!!)

6.) Feminist Women's Health Center
One of my favorite Atlanta non-profit organizations, the FWHC is located on the outskirts of Decatur. FWHC is one of the few safe places in the Southeast that provides safe, non-judgemental abortion services. Not only this, but they also offer a multitude of other services, including but not limited to STD testing (for you and your partner-male or female), gynecological services, access to contraceptives, trans health services, and a reproductive justice advocacy network. As a part of the reproductive justice advocacy network, you can attend informative workshops that give you a run down on where Georgia stands when it comes to reproductive freedom (which is not great, I might add) and how you can take a stand against current and impending policies that prevent women from having access to contraceptives and safe, healthy abortions. I have attended the introductory workshop and I highly recommend signing up for the next available session. Not only that, but I have had wonderful experiences with the gynecology and wellness services as well. Two thumbs up! Click on the link above to access their website; it has all the information you could possibly want, including a complete list of the services they offer as well as the address and telephone number.

7.) Bat for Lashes-Two Suns

Bat for Lashes' sophomore album Two Suns is another of my favorite female fronted musical releases of 2009. British Natasha Khan, the real name behind BFL, uses a fascination with mystical imagery and subtle undertones of celtic instrumentation (not in a cheesy way mind you) and pairs it with electronic pop beats and harpsichord-heavy keys. According to Wikipedia, Two Suns is a concept album that Khan based on an alter ego she imagined for herself named Pearl. Ultimately I love the album for the living room, dance crazed jam sessions that it inspires. She puts on a pretty rockin' live show as well that I attended at Center Stage back in August. I recommend you give this album a good listen, as well as her first release Fur and Gold. Warning: you may feel an intense need to paint a bit of glitter around your eyes and don a bejeweled feather headdress, but don't worry, the wizard won't hurt you.

8.) ANGELA DAVIS-best public speaker of the year
Back in March I had the pleasure of hearing Angela Davis speak on behalf of Women's History Month, sponsored by Emory University. I am sad to say that I missed the National Women's Studies Conference that took place at the beginning of this past November, where Davis also spoke. This was perhaps one of the greatest opportunities I have had to hear one of the most influential feminist activists and writers of the past 40 years. Most importantly, Davis has contributed to the black feminist movement that spoke out against the racism in the women's movements of the past. In Women, Race, and Class, which I am currently reading, she analyzes and discusses not only the racism that occurred during the 1960s and 70s women's movement, but also the exclusion of black women's voices from the suffrage movement and the denial of reproductive justice to women of color that found its basis in the eugenics movement. Here she discusses how women of color were oftentimes forced into sterilization and the restriction of access to contraceptives and healthy, safe, abortion services. These are just a few of the many points that Davis touches on in her book, all of which still hold relevancy in the socio-political climate of today. She has also gained recognition for her commitment to speaking out against the prison industrial complex and its disproportionate effect on women and men of color, yesterday and today. This small blurb on Angela Davis is merely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to her significance in the arena of social justice; what an amazing, awe-inspiring woman.

9.) Whip It

The film Whip It, Drew Barrymore's directorial debut, stars Ellen Page (Hard Candy, Juno) supported by an incredible line up of amazing ladies: Marcia Gay Harden (Mona Lisa Smile), Kristen Wiig (Saturday Night Live), and Alia Shawkat (Pash, Bliss's best friend in the film) to name a few. Raised to compete in beauty pageants by her post beauty queen mother, 17 year old Bliss Cavendar, resident of small town Bodeen, Texas, finds her true calling as the Austin city roller girl Babe Ruthless. Can't help but love Ellen Page in yet another role as an outspoken, tough adolescent pushing the limits of what it means to be female in America. Whip It provides a realistic portrayal of this genuinely brutal sport, proving that women can roll with the punches just like the rest of em.

10.) Aida Battle and the Finca Mauritania Coffee Farm
Alongside my passion for feminism and social justice, I also share a deep love for coffee. I decided to add this amazing woman in coffee to my top ten. Aida Battle runs the farm Finca Mauritania in Santa Ana, El Salvador. She is not only dedicated to producing pure, quality coffee, but also has the guts and the passion to take risks! This means that she's dedicated to maintaining organic practices, which is quite rare for a coffee farm in El Salvador. Battle also experiments with microlots (small, single plots of a particular coffee plant) and different methods of coffee processing. In 2009, she rolled out her Grand Reserve, which consisted of washed, natural sundried, and pulp natural coffees from Finca Mauritania, as well as the other delicious peaberries from several other microlots. This may consist of a bit of coffee jargon, so feel free to ask questions. Also, here's a link to Counter Culture Coffee's website, which is full of information about all the coffees they roast. Counter Culture works very closely with farmers like Aida Battle through direct trade. Direct trade is a step above fair trade, where buyers work directly with farmers, building relationships and ensuring that the farmers receive wages that are truly fair. Here's to you Aida Battle; I truly respect you for your hard work and daring to produce some of the most interesting and delicious coffees I have ever tasted!

Once again, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I look forward to another year of great moments in feminist history and beyond!

It's been a long time

2009-11-30T13:45:00.000-08:00

I have been on hiatus from writing in this thing for quite some time now. Today at work I had an experience with a customer that made me realize that I need this blog as a constructive outlet for speaking my mind. Unfortunately, the nature of customer service does not allow for one to argue across the counter about whether or not Wal-mart is an ethical, progressive company. Personally, I think the answer is obvious....NO WAY!! Factories overseas that utilize cheap labor through the exploitation of female workers. The fact that the bulk of the wealthiest people in America own some portion of the Wal-Mart corporation. The terrible advertising, touting that they offer cheap, healthy breakfast for families. Frosted Mini-Wheats? Toaster Strudel?? Really??? Right now I don't have any numbers to throw at you, but in my opinion, just because you serve organic yogurt from Stonyfield Farms, does not make you progressive. Now, my main conundrum is this, and has been this for a while now: how do I remain an empowered feminist who does not fear confronting another with my personal opinion on something I feel passionate about? It's true, I do take it a bit too personally and can become one feisty babe. Perhaps I need to work on relaxing and knowing when it is appropriate to have a healthy argument over the issue at hand. Maybe right in front of my boss and in the middle of a drink order from one of my least favorite customers is not the best time; however, I do not want to constantly silence myself in order to placate the masses when it comes to issues of social justice. Do I not know when to pick my battles? Maybe. But at the same time, I refuse to stop challenging the complacency of others with the injustices that slip by us silently (or oftentimes, not so silently). As I search for the solution to the problem at hand, I do think this blog is a good place to start in finding my voice and standing up for what I believe to be the right thing.
~F.B.~

Anger Management

2009-06-04T17:23:00.000-07:00

One of my dearest friends and co-workers from the coffee shop where we both work/pretty much live, was subjected to some serious benevolent sexism. Or maybe hostile actually? I'm not exactly sure. Yesterday she accidentally dropped a glass french press, full of hot coffee. One can imagine the tragedy of a broken french press in the middle of a morning rush, not to mention the intense pain that results from hot coffee soaking through your jeans and tennis shoes! Any sane individual would cry out in frustration, pain, and anger (insert your expletive of choice here). The next day, one of the most patronizing, good ole'boy, father dearest type regulars came in and asked my pal if she had considered getting help for her anger management problems! She matter-of-factly explained to him the circumstances of her angry outburst the previous day, and he responded with an "Oh, I didn't realize..."
A while later, she was retelling the story to someone we both thought would be sympathetic to the ridiculousness of the previous customer's "fatherly" attempt at advice. I interjected at some point about how pissed off the whole scenario made me as well. His response was, "Now ladies, you need to calm down...don't overreact." But why shouldn't we react? First of all, "Daddy Dearest" has some serious boundary issues. Second of all, I cannot help but uncover the sexist implications of these male reactions.
Now I question, if this had been a male in place of my dear lady-friend, in the same exact situation, would "Daddy Warbucks" have said anything at all?? And would our male friend have told us to quit overreacting? Any woman that does not grin and bear it, especially when she allows herself to express anger and frustration over any given situation, is subjected to harsh judgement from patriarchal figures such as these gentlemen. It seems reminiscent of the Victorian era, where women must be "lady-like" and passive, and any female that does not conform, is condemned by society as insane, irrational, and in need of some serious therapy. In all actuality, the healthiest of us express our anger when we need to!
Do not belittle our anger to insanity or overreaction, and do not reduce us to our anger either. So for those out there that just can't take the heat of a pissed off babe, get the fuck over it!
Keep that angry ass, beautiful spirit alive!

Hate and Prop 8

2009-05-26T12:02:00.000-07:00

Today the Supreme Court of California upheld the earlier ruling of Proposition 8, denying the right for same-sex couples to marry. In the very least, the court decided to acknowledge the marriages that did occur during the short time gay marriage was legal. But if the court can uphold these marriages, than what sense does this make to deny this basic right to all people? At least America bears witness to Iowa becoming the third state to legalize same-sex marriage (if you rule out California). This leaves Massachucetts, Connecticut, and Iowa as the only states where anyone can marry. Apparently Vermont and Maine plan to legalize gay marriage in September of this year.

Not that long ago, the United States refused to acknowledge interracial marriages. In 1967 the case of Loving v. Virginia brought down the Racial Integrity Act, the state law banning interracial marriages. It seems that history repeats itself once more with the ban on same-sex marriages. In attempts to stay positive, I believe that Americans will see the legalization of marriage for same-sex couples within the next 10-20 years. And until then, I refuse to marry. This is my own personal protest at the hateful denial of couples in love to affirm their commitment through marriage. Although I have a hard time with the traditional idea of marriage as it is, but that's another blog for another time.
At least we can trust that love and commitment still exist for everyone, regardless of the legal system and religious right's attempts to meddle in our lives.

Hairy Matters

2009-05-09T15:42:00.001-07:00

All over the place lately I have begun to notice advertisements for shaving and all of the tools that accompany this daily routine. Advertisements perpetually enforce the necessity for females to remain hairless, including, I believe, a more current obsession with getting rid of pubic hair. I remember being completely embarrassed that all of my friends were shaving their legs in elementary school and begging my grandmother to allow me to join the ranks of hairless prepubescents. My best friend and I even shaved our legs for the first time together. Shaving transformed you from girl to woman, or so we thought. The latest MARTA bus advertisement that I have noticed lately, depicts two freshly shaven, shiny legs pointing in the air next to one of the various million blade razors that is currently hot on the market. Pointed out in the Killing Us Softly series, many advertisements, like the one from the MARTA bus, hone in on specific female body parts, eradicating any real identity from the individual. The usage of code words and symbolism enable the media to avoid words like pubic hair and vagina. When did vagina become such a dirty word? Our favorite witty lady from Informania's Target Women, Sarah Haskins, has also noticed this preoccupation with bush maintenance. Here's the clip from Haskins' latest greatest:

There's also an excellent excerpt from Eve Ensler's The Vagina Monologues that depicts a woman's attempt to please her unfaithful husband by shaving off her pubic hair. In the end she decides that going bald is far more trouble than it's worth.

To this day I still shave my legs and perform routine maintenance on my "garden." I am as much a product of society as anyone else. But I can't help but scoff at these ads that reinforce the female need to monitor and obsess over her appearance. Not to mention that shaving one's legs proves to be quite an arduous task.

Until next time, hairy or hairless, keep the spirit alive!

A storm is a brewing....

2009-04-08T19:03:00.000-07:00

The National Organization for Marriage does not know what to do with themselves as the movement towards equal marriage rights for all continues to make progress. They seem to think it is impinging on their personal freedom to allow gays and lesbians to marry! Their freedom??? When checking my email today, I received a link to a commercial, sponsored by the N.O.M. (i.e. the religious right), called "The Gathering Storm." Apparently California currently broadcasts the commercial up to 8 times a day! What I find most humorous, is their nickname, the Rainbow Coalition. The rainbow has become a positive symbol for GLBTQ members everywhere. Perhaps these bigoted, right wing bastards used the rainbow symbolism on purpose. Regardless, very creative. NOT. Anyway, I personally think these people are absolute parodies of themselves.

And for our more open-minded enjoyment with which to soften the blow, "Prop 8-The Musical":

"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... from Jack Black

Keep the spirit alive! Don't let the backlash against progress fool you!

Do you find this photo funny?

2009-03-16T15:00:00.000-07:00

This photo was taken by the New York Times for this article: Pakistan Leader Backs Down and Reinstates Top Judge
At my coffee shop, we have the New York Times sitting by the register for customers to purchase. Hardly ever does anyone ever make any comments about the headlining photo and caption. Well, this photo received more jokes than I would ever have expected. The man on the ground, obviously surrendering to the police officer who is about to beat him, is a protester. I know very little about the Pakistani government and the circumstances that motivated the citizens to protest; however, I do know that there is nothing funny about brutality. I told this to a customer after he questioned why I was not laughing with him (I didn't try to argue with him, he openly pointed out that I was not joining in with his joke). He responded with: "This isn't brutality, it's just a little stick." Well my friend, so's a pistol.
Violence is not something that I will ever find humorous. Just because a police officer is the one wielding the weapon does not make it okay. Like I said, I don't have a full understanding of the circumstances; maybe this individual did something heinous. I am not quick to judge the targeted criminal in any newspaper anymore without some critical thinking. Look at how corrupt the American criminal justice system is! Women and men of color make up the majority of those incarcerated. Women of color are sexually harassed, beaten, raped, and sometimes killed by our police officers more often than we will probably ever be aware of. Racial profiling by our criminal justice system is a current, systemic problem in our country. Look at the Vietnam war protests that went on in the U.S. and the Civil Rights marches of the 1960s and 70s. Were these citizens subjected to hatred and violence? You bet!
So no, I am not going to laugh. I am going to question. I am going to find compassion. Violence begets violence. It will never be a real solution.

Things to celebrate and look forward to!

2009-03-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

In celebration of Women's History Month, Emory is sponsoring lots of fun events. Most excitingly, on Tuesday March 24, Angela Davis is giving the keynote address for WHM and discussing the prison industrial complex and its effects on women. She's an amazing lady and has contributed years of activism and education for the feminist movement, especially with issues facing women of color and United States prisons. Basically she's a badass! The event is completely free and open to the public. It's being held at Ebeneezer Baptist Church and starts at 7pm. Here's a link with more information on the event: AngelaDavisKeynoteAddress.

Just food for thought:
I'm currently watching Scrubs, which frequently pisses me off with its heteronormative, sexist banter. In the current episode the ex-chief of surgery told one of the main female doctors that she had grown "girl balls." Why is it that in order to imply that someone is gutsy or exhibiting strength and independence, that someone has grown a set of hypothetical testicles? And if courageous=ballsy, someone exhibiting fear or tentativeness is called a pussy? Can you think of any phrases utilizing the male genitalia in a negative way? It's a lot harder than you may think. There's a plethora of common phrases in the English language that we usually don't think about or question. Just one of the many things I like to ponder.

Prop 8 and the nullification of California same-sex marriages

2009-02-17T11:52:00.000-08:00

In December, Ken Star and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund began their attempts at the nullification of the same-sex marriages of over 18,000 Californians. On March 5, the Supreme Court is listening to arguments for/against this cruel, prejudiced act. You can go to this link to watch a beautifully orchestrated slideshow, set to Regina Spektor's Fidelity, of photographs of many of the happy, in love couples and fellow family members and friends, in protest of Prop 8. At the bottom is a link that allows you to sign a letter to the Supreme Court. They have a new goal of 300,000 signatures. Help be a part of the solution! This is only the beginning, but we must start somewhere eh?

Here's the link:
http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/divorce

Even if you think Valentine's Day is a stupid, commercial holiday, this is a great way to show your love this month!

Victory!!

2009-01-25T16:39:00.001-08:00

It is official! The "Global Gag Rule" has been repealed!!! Not only that, but the Lilly Ledbetter Act is finally law. It went through in the House earlier this month, and activists everywhere were crossing their fingers that it would pass in the Senate (it was the Republican-dominated Senate that prevented the act from going through last year). Previously, anyone that claimed they were being discriminated against through unequal pay, had to take legal action within six months of the unfair paycheck. Ultimately the law provided protection for employers choosing to cheat their workers out of a full paycheck. This not only affects women, but all marginalized groups in society. The Paycheck Fairness Act is the next big feat in the arena of fair pay. This may be a bit tougher to get passed, but is at least in the works!
The Obama administration has only been in office for one week. One week, and already change is happening! Amazing!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

2009-01-22T16:29:00.000-08:00

Today marks the 36th anniversary of Roe V. Wade! In 1973, this ruling gave women back reproductive freedom that had been held captive for eons. Appropriately, our new president Barack Obama is seriously considering a reversal of the "Global Gag Rule," also known as the "Mexico City Policy." This policy bans any U.S. funding that goes towards international programs offering information on contraception and abortion, as well as the provision of safe, legal abortions to women. It was first put into place in 1984 by Reagan, repealed by Clinton, and reinstated by Bush. Conservatives argue that lifting the "Global Gag Rule" would generate more abortions. What they don't seem to see is that by providing women with proper, empowering sex education and information on birth control, this will actually prevent unwanted pregnancies and abortions. If women do choose to seek an abortion, safer, healthier abortions will be available, as well as counseling!

Tuesday's inauguration was a proud day for America, and I have faith that change is in fact, in the works.

Keep the spirit alive!

Darling, sweetheart, honey, beautiful......

2009-01-11T17:43:00.000-08:00

I've been debating about an interaction I had earlier today with a customer and must clear my chest. He is already one of my least favorite people, along with his fellow womanizing, sleazy cohorts (some sleazier than others). I feel objectified and reduced in his presence. When he walks in, I feel a general sense of dread, wondering what he might say to me to make me uncomfortable. Oftentimes he doesn't say anything, which is a big relief. Today, however, I approached to take his order, giving him a simple, "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying, "Hey Crystal. I'm fine. You?" he responds with, "Hello darling." I must add that it wasn't in a sweet, gentlemanly like way either. Simple enough though. Not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things I suppose. But this time I was fed up. I looked him in the eye matter-of-factly and said, "Don't call me darling. My name is Crystal. My boyfriend wouldn't like it, and I don't like it either." At first I was feeling proud of myself for taking a stand. This one instance makes it seem like I'm overreacting I'm sure, but I just can't take it anymore. I shouldn't have to worry about taking a customer's order and being made to feel like I am nothing more than a woman at his service. Now I'm feeling a bit guilty. Have I taken it too far? Was I actually overreacting. He's still a customer. Or did I do the right thing? I wasn't mean. I didn't call him any names. Should I feel bad for standing up for myself, even if I get the rap for being a stuck-up bitch? Is my guilt stemming from society's expectation for me to be a nice girl? If I was a guy, that interaction would not have happened. I suppose my problem is that ultimately I don't feel empowered by the experience. Do I need to choose my battles? When is it necessary to speak my mind, and how do I do it in a way that is empowering? I hope that through my journey to find my feminist voice, I can come to a more resolute, positive conclusion. I don't want to be angry all the time; I want to be an uplifting part of the solution!

Rape in the Military: An Ignored Crime

2008-12-30T18:06:00.000-08:00

According to a study issued in Ms. Magazine, women serving in the military are more likely to be victims of rape by a fellow soldier than killed by enemy weapons. Army PFC. Lavena Johnson was raped and killed by another solider. In attempts to cover up the incident, the military says that she committed suicide, denying the obvious visible signs of sexual assault during the autopsy. They have since closed the case, and despite pleas from her parents, have refused to reexamine the tragedy. This is just one example of the many incidences of rape and other forms of sexual assault towards military women. Here's the link to part of the article from Ms. Magazine:

http://www.msmagazine.com/Fall2008/TheScandalOfMilitaryRape.asp

The reason I'm posting this, other than spreading the word, is that you can help PFC. Lavena Johnson's case by signing the petition that presses for Congress to reopen and reexamine the incidences leading to her death. Be a part of the solution here:

http://www.colorofchange.org/lavena/?id=2184-701691

Start the New Year off right: resolve to educate yourself on issues you deem important and do what you can to be a part of the solution!

This month's VAG OF HONOR goes to:

2008-12-26T12:10:00.001-08:00

This amazing chic I'm growing to know and love: Sarah Haskins of "Target:Women." These clips are a part of the InfoMania show on cable TV. She cleverly breaks down female stereotypes in women-oriented commercials, television, and films. Witty and smart, I think she deserves Panties-in-a-Twist's first VAG OF HONOR! To accompany my earlier post on the gendering of young children, check out one of her latest, greatest:

Toys and "Doing Gender"

2008-12-26T10:36:00.000-08:00

It is obvious to me that gender is more than our biological make-up. We learn how to be boys and girls from the moment of conception. Hands down, the largest contributors to our gender socialization are the toys and books that are marketed for young children. This really hit home for me this holiday season when buying gifts for my four and a half year old nephew and my boyfriend's five year old sister. I chose this year to buy books for the little ones, not only because I knew that they'd receive oodles of toys but because it was my best solution in finding gender- neutral gifts.

It was amusing for me to watch as my nephew's clearly favorite gift was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' sword set. It has been tough for me to accept that as he grows into a young boy, he has become increasingly interested in guns, swords, and bow and arrows. Ultimately there is nothing wrong with these typical interests; he's a very kind and loving kid and is around lots of peers at school that are sharing the same interests. And you must let kids be themselves.

Yesterday afternoon Joseph's sis could not resist showing me her new purse, filled to the brim with princess make-up. I must remember that I too was a very "girly" girl as a child. I too loved all of these things. I think the most influential combatant to these pure gender socializations was my love of reading. My grandfather is really to thank for this, guiding me towards books that represented women as strong, intelligent role models.

As an aside, I want to comment on an interaction with my nephew last week that I found interesting. We were playing with this awesome rainforest veterinarian playset he has. What I found to be not so awesome were the male and female action figures that accompany the set. The female, decked out in her vet gear, has the largest, perkiest breasts I've seen on a plastic doll in a while. Not to mention the unrealistic, unattainable, tiny waist. The male vet is unrealisticly top heavy as well with a puffed out, muscular chest and arms. He could kick any unruly tiger's ass with those crazy biceps. Curious, I asked my nephew what their names were. He responded that his name was Strong and her name, Girly. If this isn't the effects of learning the acceptable roles of the male/female dichotomy, I don't know what is. He is four and a half. Children are sponges, and by the age of four have already grasped what it means to be a male or female in our society.

There is only so much we can do as brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, aunts, and uncles. Peers, teachers, television, toys, and video games are also influences. And we must give children the freedom to choose and express themselves. I must also acknowledge that gender is one of the most pervasive classifications in this world as we know it. It's going to take a long time for the accepted roles and behaviors for young girls and boys to shift, if they ever really do. My greatest hope is that these roles expand, giving girls and boys more options on how to be and also allowing for gay, lesbian, and transgendered children to have a place too.

I do want to say that one of the greatest joys for me during the holidays is providing magic and fun for my nephew. He's a fantastic kid with a fantastic set of familial role models. I'm not worried about his development into a strong, intelligent, pro-feminist human being. I am learning a lot about what it means to grow and develop during childhood by watching him. Ultimately it is a lot of fun and provides a jump-off point for many a discussion.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Keep the spirit alive!

"Every kiss begins with kay" ring a silver bell this holiday season?

2008-12-13T13:13:00.001-08:00

My roommate sent me this earlier. I think it's very appropriate for the holiday season that's upon us. Enjoy, a comment on the absurdity that all us gals want for x-mas is a disgustingly ugly diamond neclace:

Welcome!

2008-12-13T06:56:00.000-08:00

So, this blog is definitely a work in progress right now. But I'm so excited about it that I can't wait to post something! The semester is over and my mind is spilling over with things that I want to share with the world. In spirit of this month's menses, I am posting a link to one of my favorite articles that I read in my feminist psychology class this semester. It is something Gloria Steinem wrote for Ms. Magazine called If Men Could Menstruate. Her writing cleverly captures just how different it would be if men were the ones with a period. It's quite funny!!

http://www.mum.org/ifmencou.htm

Check out the rest of the Museum of Menstruation's site. There's a world of funny, informative, and historical stuff about the menstrual period.

More to come!

Keep the spirit alive!